Wedding Ministry by Design

Foundations for Marriage

To Go, or Not To Go

You've toiled away all week working toward this one objective. The weekend. The time when you can forget about an ungrateful boss, fighting traffic, or whatever it is that pains your work week. The Friday afternoon drive home seems not so bad as you anticipate how you're going to remain in a semi-vegetative state for the next 2 days. You cap off your week with a relaxing dinner with your spouse, who promptly informs you, with much glee, that Foley's is having a Red Apple sale tomorrow, or that there's a boat show down at the convention center, or some other activity that just makes you want to crawl into a closet and hide from the world. Your dreams of a relaxing weekend obliterated. 

You're now faced with a difficult decision. To forfeit your own weekend plans and go along for the ride or to try and bow out gracefully. As the Knight Templar guarding the Holy Grail cautioned Indiana Jones, "Choose wisely, my son."

This is a delicate situation that we all face and there is no concrete appropriate answer. If spending your leisure time at the flea market or gawking at forty year old adolescents proudly display the intricacies of their train models just makes you want to poke your eyes out, if you decide you must go in order to avoid hurt feelings, you must also make a commitment to make the very best of it. Remind yourself that your day will come as well, when your beloved will accompany you to the botanic gardens or the upcoming Nascar race. 

The other option you face is to not go. This can be dangerous, but at times, can also be the right solution. If you decide not to go, then you have to accept it when your spouse decides to go with a friend and leave you at home. You also have to accept it when you want to go see some movie that he or she is simply not interested in. This option has its merits as sometimes we all need time to interact with others, or even time to spend alone, but this is NOT an option you can come to rely on. Eventually, your significant other will begin making plans without even considering if you would want to accompany them or not. Then you're just going to begin to feel rejected and will resent them for not including you.

Giving your loved one the gift of time can often be the greatest gift of all. But if you decide to go, give your gift of time with no strings attached. Make a conscious decision to have a good time. Savor the fact that you're seeing him/her having a good time doing something they enjoy, and you will enjoy it too.

Pastor Monty Rainey

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